Decisions, decisions

This is me. Cracks and all.

Do you ever feel like things are just out of place? Your father is on the other side of the world and doesn't like nor want in his life the person you are? Your mother wishes you were never born, and won't let you leave for university without financially cutting you off completely? You're at a crossroads and you want to jump the bridge. But you don't. Why? Because there's the future. Okay this is now. This is life now, but it doesn't have to be that way in a while. Control will be in your hands. The only problem is with freedom, comes great amounts of responsibility. Financial responsibilities being the biggest of issues. It's a tough world. and to start at literally zero....the math just doesn't work out in my head. Would you rather be on the streets? Or living as the most miserable being you could ever be? Would you rather live? Or die? So many unanswered questions. So much is left to be uncovered in time passing. Time passing is the hardest thing to allow, mostly because there is absolutely no way of fast forwarding, knowing the result before hand, or changing your actions once you've done something. Drugs only numb a person from reality for a short time, and slowly kill you. Cigarettes? The same shit, slower process. Booze... Liver failure anyone? So I guess the only way to work something out is to A) let time pass, as much as it may burden you. and B) deal with it. straight forward. eyes open...

Welcome Home (:

Welcome to my page! This is the first, of hopefully many many postings about my adventures.

Let's begin shall we?

Last night being the last of my first high school dances, I went to "kick off", which true to name, kicks off the beginning of the school year with a dance. It was not great, due to the DJ's lack of skill and high school drama circulating in the air, but that's what REAL parties are for no? I just began my senior year of high school, and I'm ready for college. Or to leave high school, rather. College applications on my mind and places of interest to consider. After all, it IS four whole years of my life. So I ask reflect, and question where it is I see myself in years to come. What is my dream place? What will be the most positive environment? Where will I make friends? Where will I have great hair days? And to be honest, nobody can answer these questions whole-heartedly, but I do know one thing. SAN FRANCISCO is my dream place. The crux of my heart longs to be in San Francisco. The weather, the atmosphere, the shopping, the antiques, and the colleges (that's rather important). My family is not fond of my plan to move a million miles from my house, but I am determined. I have to, if not now, at some point in my life. I DID grow up in Los Angeles, after all, California is my home. So I'll cross my fingers. Here is to applying, maintaining my GPA in ridiculous classes, and beginning my life in SAN FRANCISCO, or wherever the wind blows. Cheers.

x, Lanalove